27 March 2019

I dreamed of vast primeval forests, well, not literally. I am back to drawing old forests. I drew one last night after midnight.

26 March 2019

Strangely enough, I did dream of her this morning but I got up, dismissed it and went back to sleep.

22 March 2019

A dream of palaces

I had a long dream of visiting the ruins of a Cambodian palace complex with my father. I drove up an old trail before alighting. And we ventured into the remains of the building.

Inside, we walked down a few levels and actually found a modern shop that had been joined to the complex, not a tourist shop but a local shop, the folks had that learned to make use of the old and the new.
I find people who claim that that they like drawing but they don't draw to be somewhat... Haha. It is funny how things are.

There will be things that I will not understand.
I have always wanted to create stories and artwork. I need to focus on them in a more organised way.
The re-orientation of priorities continue. A lifetime of other priorities. Now, my priorities will centre around my desires.

And I will need to re-examine what my heart wants.
Kindness has always been the supreme virtue. Given the distortions and societal expectations, what passes as kindness today is a perverse form of political correctness.

Many people deemed as 'kind' aren't really kind per se.

21 March 2019

This is such a moody day. Heavy rainfall after a long period of brilliant sunshine.
Nothing will ever be good enough. An individual, a free mind, one must conform to the dictates of ordinary society, surrender to the expectations of others and not be allowed to just be a simple person. Sometimes, what others think really doesn't matter. Sadly, many cannot throw off the shackles of societal expectations.
I walk, I think, I remember. I will embrace this solitude.

At a point earlier in life, I had made sacrifices, sacrifices that were more significant to me than what had previously transpired. Sacrifices that were sadly unrecognised nor appreciated. I was glad to make them, I was happy to be consumed in an all-encompassing connection of emotion. I gave myself. I had opened myself. Eventually, sadly, it had come to nought. In that, I had wondered, time and again, why.

Thus, I must stride on this narrow path, be strong again, and not give myself again.

18 March 2019

I did a fair bit of walking on Saturday. I need to carry less things. I walked by certain places that brought back memories. Has it been years? A tint of sadness.

Sadly, not much drawing nor painting done over the weekend.

16 March 2019

I will do more drawing this afternoon!

Moral Compass

I asked a few questions to gauge the moral compasses of some friends. Well, the answers from some of the fellows were pretty expected. Oh well, some were disappointing while some showed some ability to discern.

13 March 2019

Dumb Jock Games

There are games which I consider to be dumb jocks games. I guess it comes from the impression of folks that I know who plays these games, dumb people.
  • Grand Theft Auto series. 
  • All sports games.
  • Golf games.
  • Truck driving games.
  • Tomb Raider series
  • Far Cry series
  • Crysis (not so much)
  • All other gangster games.